Tuesday, February 29, 2000


You resign yourself to fun with FedEx, seal the cooler with great swaths of duct tape, and affix the shipping and hazardous cargo labels. Nervously, you approach the Fed Ex counter with the strangest package you’ve ever shipped, steeling yourself for the awkward questions to come. Luckily, the guys at FedEx have seen it all, and the exchange is relatively simple, except for the pain of the nearly hundred-dollar charge to your weary credit card.

The next morning, you get up, do the pee/cup/stick routine again, and glance at the results with trepidation. No matter what the outcome, it’s going to be ludicrous. You peer between your fingers and see… positive or negative?