A Box of Hammers
I do care about K., and I will be really really happy for her when her baby is born. But I will also be really really miserable for me. And those emotions are too complex to try and express at work, so I wish I could just avoid the whole subject here. Unfortunately, I don't run the world ('cause, duh, if I did, we'd all have babies!) and I can't seem to avoid these horrid interactions. These people are my coworkers and I don't want to be branded around the school as the misanthropic psychopath I sometimes feel like. So I nod and try not to grimace, and escape the conversations as quickly as possible. However, here are some things I'd rather say:
- Oh really? I haven't had my baby yet either.
- Excuse me, I have real work to do.
- Hello?!? Do you have a single living brain cell? Do you know that you are plunging a knife in my gut at this moment?
- You mean all pregnancies don't end in miscarriage?
- Is K. having a baby? I didn't know.
- Get out of my face.
- If you're willing to pay for my therapist, we can continue this conversation.
And now that I've vented, it's time to go back to work. Oh joy.