The M-Word

Yesterday we had to retrieve a few things from the basement for a neighbor's party. Somehow (don't ask me how) I managed to convince Jen that we should bring up the bin of hand-me-down maternity clothes that have been hiding down there for the better part of a year. She carefully removed all labels indicating the contents of the bin, and we lugged it up together. She was convinced that our neighbors were looking intently at the bin, somehow knowing what lurked within. I laughed and reminded her that everything looked fine last Tuesday and that, at this point we're just a little over a week from the end of the first trimester, so who cares if neighbors are suspecting things?

Wrong answer.

One mini-meltdown and lots of hugs, kisses, and reassurances later, we shoved the box out of our front hall and ignored it for the rest of the day.

Imagine my shock when she was willing to try on a pair of (really cute) overall shorts this morning. Since they screamed PREGNANT, and we still haven't told most people, she decided not to wear them. However, when I pointed out that her growing belly was becoming pretty obvious even in her regular clothes, she opened the bag of maternity shirts. It's kind of shocking what one of those shirts can do. No, it doesn't hide anything, but it looks really cute and...pregnant.

The entire walk to and from the farmer's market, I couldn't stop looking and grinning. I wanted to run into people we know, just to see if they'd notice and what they would say. And at the same time there's still this damn voice in my head, reminding me that we're so, so far from out of the woods yet. And I'm scared that I'm getting too excited now, because what if we go in for the ultrasound on Friday and everything's NOT ok? What if the heartbeat has stopped? What if it's too small? What if there's something wrong? What if we're not growing a baby, but a...I don't know...a trout? It did look like a fish at that 7 week ultrasound.

But she still looks damn cute in that maternity shirt.