Fuckity-fuck-fuck.

We have to redo the homestudy. And the post placement visits. The judge won't take a homestudy from a private agency. Only the district. And this only applies in cases of second parent adoptions, mind you. Of course, the reason we'd gone with a private agency is that if you go through the District, there's no predicting who you'll get or how they'll cope with the whole lesbian thing. It's unclear as of yet how much of the paperwork, fingerprinting, background checking, and letter of recommendation getting I'll have to redo and how much can be transferred. What is clear is that a) we spent a whole lot of money that we don't have on a stupid fucking homestudy that doesn't count, b) we get to have yet another person poking around in our lives and judging my "fitness," and c) I'm so, so sick of this.

On the up side, we have an actual court date. In December. We're getting a little nervous about this judge, so think good thoughts for us, OK?

On the even upper side, every day I love this child more. I don't know how that's possible, since I loved her a pretty insane amount from the beginning. But it's true. I am so happy, and we are so lucky to have her in our lives. Whether or not we ever have the paperwork to prove it, I AM her mama. I'd just really like to have the paperwork.