What, you wanted an ANSWER?!

So, the beta was negative. End of story, right? WRONG. "But," says Nurse Cheery, "your progesterone is high - 10.1 - so if you don't get your period in 4 or 5 days, take an HPT." Little does she know that telling me to take an HPT is like telling Elvis to eat fried food...

The scoresheet to date:
1 FRER with a faint line both Cait and Jen agree is there (yesterday AM)
3 FRERs with faint lines only Cait is sure about (yesterday AM, PM and this AM)
Occasionally twingey/sensitive breasts
1 cheapie with maybe a faint line according to Cait (last night)
A negative beta
1 cheapie with a faint line, but distinctly darker than all the other HPTs, that other people would agree exists and might even show up in a photograph (this morning)
A soupcon* of grumpiness
A bunch (we won't tell how many) of negative, negative, negative tests taken at various points in the past (ahem) several days.
Higher and more consistent temps than any other post-MC cycle (until the plummet today)
A trashcan full of empty HPT boxes and pee-fouled dinosaur cups
A "high" progesterone level

Oh, and I didn't exactly tell them when I got the beta that I am only, um, 11 DPO. So Nurse Cheery may be basing her interpretation of the progesterone as high on false assumptions. Sooo, it ain't over yet, but we're definitely not holding our breath.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't fuck around with testing early. And, no good can come from peeing on dinosaurs.

EDITED TO ADD: Where'd all the commenters go? You're welcome to jump in and tell me we're loons or we're seeing things. Or tell stories of friends who didn't get a positive HPT until the day they gave birth. Or report on your toenail fungus (ok, maybe not. But on the other hand, I tell you about my pee...). Anyway, I know you guys are out there - I've never had this many site visits in a day before!

*did I say soupcon? I don't speak that language, remember? Doesn't that mean "shitload" in French?