a. Your lawyer, who assists people with name changes a few times a year, and gave you free advice on how to go about a name change, suggesting, "You'll have to take a day off of work, the sooner the better."
b. The court clerk, whose job it is to give out this information on a daily basis, saying, "Yes, you can do everything you need to do for a name change on Saturdays."
c. Your mother, who says, "Why are you doing that anyway? It's just a waste of time."
2. You have to pee ALL the time (as in, seven or more times in five hours). This is probably because
a. you are 8 months pregnant and have always been carrying low, but the baby has begun to drop even further.
b. you have a bladder infection, requiring more antibiotics.
c. you drink so much Coca-Cola your baby is going to be born twitching, I tell you!
3. In which of the following places are you prohibited from carrying a 4-inch pair of round-tip children's scissors:
a. Airports and airplanes past the TSA security checkpoint.
b. Schools in a major Maryland public education system.
c. The DC Courts complex.
d. All of the above.
1. a - Although your lawyer sometimes appears flaky, she was right on the money on this one. It's not surprising, really, that a DC courts employee gave out incorrect information, even though it was UNBELIEVABLY frustrating to get up early on a Saturday morning and spend more than 3 hours round trip (because OF COURSE Metro was doing track repair, making a 15 minute trip take an hour and 10 minutes) only to find out you can only get the FORMS on Saturday but have to come back to file them during the week.
However, frustration hit astronomical new levels when on Wednesday you return during court hours, file the forms and discover you can't see the judge until you produce a certified copy of your birth certificate, which no one told you about. Not your lawyer, nor the person who gave you the forms and explained the process on Saturday morning, even when you asked, "Is there anything else I need to do this?"
Score to date: Court Visits - 2, Name Change - 0
Oh, and your mom? Don't listen to her. This is the woman who uses a different last name in virtually every setting, depending upon which of her children she wishes to be connected to. But the fact that you wish to share a last name with your child is ridiculous, in her eyes....
2. b. The lesson here is, trust yourself and your body. If you think your urination needs are absurd and out of line, they probably are. The good news is, you caught this early and have started antibiotics, which will hopefully return things to "normal" (which, given that you are 8 months pregnant, probably means going to the bathroom 3-5 times in 5 hours...) and prevent the problem from escalating into a kidney infection, which can bring on preterm labor! The bad news is, you're on antibiotics, and as you, Trista, and Bri know, that can lead to unhappy crotch times, indeed. Oh well, probiotics and yogurt are your friends, right?
3. c. Even though the airlines will let you fly with children's safety scissors, and school districts that have been known to send kids home for having a plastic knife recklessly allow scissors just like them (or even sharper!), the DC Courts will confiscate your blunt-tipped yarn-cutter. At least on weekdays. The rules seem a bit more relaxed on Saturdays. (They will, however, return it to you on your exit from the building.)