Closer to home, we had the first of our post-placement visits today. Yes, post-placement. New requirement. Another $1000. Yippee. It was fine. We got to brag about how wonderful Natalie is and how much fun we're having with her. The crap came at the end, when the social worker said that the three visits have to be two months apart each. Natalie will be 6 months old in October, at which point we thought our waiting period would be over. Apparently it just got extended by 4 months. To make things even better, the judge continues to change things almost daily. Several people we know who have done homestudies with private agencies have had to entirely redo them with DC Social Services because this judge has declared it necessary. (Of course this all happened after we had paid for our private agency) Our lawyer is now starting to think that maybe the judge *is* homophobic. And yes, this judge is the only option. So far she's granted the adoptions in the end, but I (of course) worry that the day will come when she won't. And that that day will just happen to be the one on which we schedule our hearing.
Oh, and that little thing with the IRS? Jen got another letter from them saying that she's OK with the first time homebuyers tax credit but that she owes quite a bit because she claimed the interest on the house and (duh) there are two names on the mortgage. Basically it boils down to our taxes for the past several years being done incorrectly because we can't file jointly and because our accountant fucked up. She's a lesbian. And an accountant. We. pay. her. so. it. comes. out. right. We could easily fuck it up on our own for free. Oh, and she hasn't returned Jen's calls or responded to her fax. Nice.
To all the people out there who don't understand why gays and lesbians want to be able to marry (um, probably none of whom read this blog, but this is my rant, dammit, and I don't care), I say this: It is so we can lead normal lives. It is so that we can own a house together and not worry that if one of us dies the other will be homeless or have to pay inordinate sums to stay in the house. So that we can file our taxes like normal people and not have to do this stupid calculus of who "owns" what or "paid" for what when it really all came out of the joint finances of the household. So that the IRS doesn't come after us for things we can't defend or prove and wouldn't have to if we were straight. So that we can have children together without being investigated. So that we can just face the normal financial challenges of having a child, rather than the extra thousands of dollars of debt from legal fees. So that when our child or our partner is sick or injured, we don't have to fear being kept in the waiting room because we're legally of no relation. So that we can just be normal people with families and not have to always fight so damn hard for it. And the even crappier thing is, Jen and I are lucky. We're lucky that we get to fight and struggle for it. I recognize that. But it still sucks.