Thursday, November 23, 2006


Two years ago, we were in the thick of the molar pregnancy mess. Our weekly betas were slowly falling, and we watched and waited for the end of this desperatly-wanted pregnancy. I think if I'd known that it would take until March--a month shy of Jen's due date--I wouldn't have even gotten out of bed on Thanksgiving. We had planned to spend the weekend doing baby-prep stuff to the house. Painting, organizing, etc. My mom came to town anyway (my dad had come the weekend before), and we spent the weekend doing consolation home improvements. NOT the same. Especially since it resulted in the countertop disaster of 2004-2005. But we were trying, dammit, and so were our families.

One year ago, we were hopeful. We had this. I was still terrified that something would go wrong, that this baby would be taken from us too. But each day was a little more hopeful.

Today, I am awake long before my body wants to be. Jen is sleeping off Natalie's all night nurse-a-thon (someone didn't tell her that the feast is supposed to be this afternoon). I'm tired. I'm achy. Jen and I are broke. All of our money and then some has gone into the second parent adoption, which we hope will go through before the end of the year. I'm trying to figure out how we can pass off toothpicks or Q-tips as Christmas gifts. And I've never been happier. Seriously. Never. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I'm thankful with every inch of my soul.


  • De-lurking here to tell you that you can get a tax rebate on the second parent adoption costs. So every dollar you spend, you get back. Maybe you already know thsi already, but thought I'd tel you just in case. Check with a tax will be worth the 100 bucks to go to H&R block to get all that $$$ back. G/L!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:14 PM  

  • It makes me furious that you have to bankrupt yourselves adopting a child that is already yours. Those fundies who think they're blocking gay marriage rights under the heading of family values ought to think about the fact that they're taking food out of your baby's mouth. Gaahhhh!!

    I can feel the love you have for eachother and the Naterpillar oozing right through the screen, though ;) Happy Thanksgiving!

    By Anonymous DebbieS, at 3:48 AM  

  • It comes down to the siplest things that make us grateful.

    By Blogger Indigo Wolf, at 12:54 PM  

  • Great attitude. I hope that the financial situation improves and that the adoption is finalized quickly and with no more $. But most of all, I hope you continue to be as happy as you are right now.

    By Blogger Krista, at 1:01 PM  

  • Happy Thanksgiving!

    (I'm fuming that you have to spend your savings on this second-parent adoption, though. GRRRRRR.)

    Have the baby dip the Q-tips in washable paint and then drop them on paper liberated from your workplace. Then glue them where they fall. Voila, perfect gifts for everyone!

    By Blogger Jody, at 2:54 PM  

  • I'm So grateful, too! And grateful that Malka and Nat can grow up knowing one another.

    SUCH gratitude to be had.

    And I HEAR you on the Q-tips thing. Narda and I agreed on the "no presents" rule for the first time this year.

    By Blogger Shelli, at 7:47 PM  

  • We do know about the tax credit but it's not much consolation RIGHT NOW when we need to front the money. Furthermore, because Cait's a part-time teacher now and doesn't make much money, we may have to spread the tax credit over two years, making the bite painful for that much longer. Also, if the adoption doesn't go through right away (due to the psycho judge), we'll have to wait another year. But, thanks for the tip - if we hadn't known about it, it would have been good news!

    By Blogger Jen, at 8:48 PM  

  • It totally sucks to have to spend so much money, reimbursable or not, for something most other people dont ever have to pay for.

    I'm not sure why you would have to wait another year to take the credit if it doesn't go through mid-December. The IRS rule is that you take the expenses the year after they are incurred: "Although the credit generally is allowed for the year following the year in which the expenses are paid, a taxpayer who paid qualifying expenses in the current year for an adoption which became final in the current year, may be eligible to claim the credit on the current year return."

    I think MZ disagrees with this based on what she told us but the rule is pretty black and white that even if the adoption takes more than 1 year, once you know nat's ssn (which you do) you shld be able to claim the credit, as the agency doing our friends' adoption told them/us.

    I guess the silver lining for your story is that your downside comes with an upside- it may be harder financially, that's the price of being able to work only a few days a week. And that time Cait gets to spend with your daughter is more important than making money, hands down, any day (as you already know!) :-)

    By Blogger Gus and Moms, at 9:45 PM  

  • Boy can I identify! Our twins are the best things that ever happened to us. I can't imagine my life any less crazy than it is, and we're broker than broke after having to do IVF to get them. Thankfully, we live in CA and DP was on the birth cert from day 1. But as for the money and the stress of raising kids? I love every stinking minute of it.

    By Anonymous kim, at 10:55 AM  

  • I've had to do alot of christmas shopping on limited funds, I find the dollar store a great place to think up ideas, some gifts that are really from the heart. Last year I purchased plate display holders (they hang on the wall) and picture frames and put in pictures of the kids to give to everyone. It seemed to go ok. Good luck with the adoption and I hope your finances improve...

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:49 AM  

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