As Natalie and I "hungled" (snuggled) before her nap this morning, my mind wandered through bits and pieces of the last 19 months. I held her a little longer than I needed to, feeling her body relax, noticing her eyelashes, her smooth cheeks, and the untamed curls around her face. If we never have another child, I will always feel incredibly lucky. This is not a thought unique to today. Every day there is some moment in which the hugeness of it all hits me full force. This amazing child is ours. I don't know how we got so lucky. But somehow, we did.
This does not change the wanting of a second. Sometimes it makes me feel greedy to ask for another when we already have so much. I'm still asking though. But wherever the quest for a sibling leads, I hope I can always keep this feeling of luck and gratitude.
But if this cycle works, I'm naming the kid Tofurkey.