Have Sperm, Will Travel?
Cait and I were discussing the logistics of the upcoming cycle, and realized that this could be very, very interesting. As I think I've mentioned before, my sister is graduating at the end of the month, and a large entourage (parents, us, friends of the family and one of their daughters) are going to New Hampshire for the festivities. Wouldn't you know, the dates of the trip line up quite obnoxiously with my likely ovulation. First cycle in ten damn months we get to try, and we'll be out of town. With. My. Family.
Oh, and we're flying there, since we have to be back in town for a wedding Sunday night. Generally, I'm happy to fly instead of driving 10 hours, but one advantage to driving is you can take anything you want in the car. Such as a liquid nitrogen tank. Whereas I'm not sure but I think they're not really kosher on planes. So that leaves us with the dry ice option, and that brings along its own delightful set of complications. How much dry ice do we need? How long will it last? Where can we buy more in New Hampshire? What will the conversation at the security station in the airport be like? ("What's in the cooler, ma'am?" "Oh, just some sperm.")
Shit. As I was typing this, Cait said, "Can you even take dry ice on a plane?" and I googled it. Dry ice, yes. Human fluids (outside of humans), not so fast. Transporting tissue or bodily fluids requires adhering to a bizarre and arcane set of regulations. And I don't think my little cooler with dry ice from the packy store and a ziplock bag with the vial in it are going to make it.
Our options are disappearing faster than matter into a black hole.
We could buy more sperm and have it shipped to my sister. Ha ha. At boarding school. Ha ha ha. Where she's already been kicked out once and nearly a second time. Ha ha ha ha. Ok, forget that.
We could fake terrible illness and fly up a day later - again, only if the timing works out. That buys us one extra day, at the cost of my mother's considerable ire. Which could be assuaged by the truth, but we don't want the pressure of family knowing that we're insemming again.
We could get really lucky on the timing and not have a problem.
Or we can miss the first cycle in ten months.
Fuck. (Oh, yeah, that won't work.)