The Best Laid Plans...

A is for Are You Kidding?: In an ideal world, we'd be inseminating in our RE's office, with full access to his experience, knowledge, equipment, and skill. Our sperm is stored there, we have a file set up, and they bill directly to our insurance. But of course, in our very real and frustrating world, he currently refuses to do insems until September, if/when I've had negative betas for 6 consecutive months. Thus, each month we're forced to come up with creative insemination plans. Last month we used up all our remaining ICI samples, leaving us with a single IUI-prepped vial (yes, that other damned vial is still missing!). Though some folks we know have done home IUI on their own, we're not comfortable with that, so we had to devise a Plan B.

B is for Bummer: Remember Dr. Easygoing? Well, turned out she's not. Or at least her receptionist isn't. I finally got a positive OPK this afternoon and called immediately to schedule an IUI for tomorrow afternoon. The receptionist said she was inducing a patient tomorrow and would be "tied up all day" but could do an IUI at 11:30 Friday. From our previous IUI cycles, we know that's too late, but the receptionist was utterly intractable. No, it couldn't be done at the hospital. No, the other doctor in the office can't do it. He just shares the space. And why hadn't I called sooner anyway? (Duh, because I hadn't surged yet?!?)

So there went Plan B down the drain. On to Plan C.

C is for Complex: is our GP, Dr. Great. She is great. In fact, I would marry her in a heartbeat (except A. I'm married. B. She's married. C. She's straight D. I only love her for her profession). She's friendly, knowledgeable, and treats us like equals. And she is REASONABLE and willing to help! When we first told her our woes and it occurred to me that perhaps she could do an IUI, I posed the question. She said she'd be a bit concerned, having never done one, but was willing to consider it. I told her I could talk her through it -- that in fact, we'd do them at home except we'd be worried about maintaining a sterile environment AND that whole speculum thing. (The speculum is NOT my friend.) So she agreed, but encouraged us to see if we could find someone with experience. But with Dr. Easygoing backing out, it was back to Dr. Great. Unfortunately, I couldn't get through to her, so I left a message but decided we needed a backup Plan D.

D is for Discomfit: We are lucky enough to have a midwife who used to work in a feminist AI clinic in Chicago. No shit. How cool is that? But she's our friend, and it's a little uncomfortable for me to think of her up close and personal with my crotch. (She did actually do an ultrasound on me at the clinic where she volunteers during the horrid two days of uncertainty about the status of my pregnancy, but at that point I would have let ANYONE have access to my parts if they could help us figure out what was going on. And it was trans-abdominal. And the donated u/s machine was so ancient we couldn't figure out anything. For all we knew, Sasquatch could have been in there. But I digress.) Anyway, having no other resources, I asked Neighbor Midwife if she'd do an IUI, and she said, sure, if we had all the supplies -- but she couldn't do it before 4 pm tomorrow, which was a bit late for our tastes. But we did at last have a confirmed plan, Plan D.

C's the Way! Luckily, Dr. Great ended up calling late this evening and agreeing to give it a whirl. Despite the last minute frenzy and plans gone kaflooey, I've stayed on a pretty even keel and still feel quite calm about this cycle. So about noon tomorrow, we're on for yet another wacky insem. Wish us luck!