Monday, August 15, 2005

Sac-ily We Roll Along - UPDATED, lengthily

Houston, we have a sac. WE think we saw a heartbeat but Dr. Reserved was dismissive - unconcerned, but dismissive. Size is good, cellular agglomeration present.

Hello, Harpo, we love you already.

(more later, including young Harpo's first picture when we're not posting from my phone)

We were delighted with this morning's ultrasound, and yet, we're still emotionally really whacky. Cait cried (with joy and general emotional release) as soon as Dr. Reserved, Nurse Cheery, and Nurse LessCheery left the room, but I waited until we were in the car an hour later to have a general meltdown. Part of is it just how tense and stressed out we've been in anticipation of today's appointment, but I think we also don't know how to handle the hope and excitement while we still have some lingering apprehension.

Cait says that today's image seems more defined than the one 366 days ago (ain't that date coincidence weird, folks?), and that Nurse Cheery admitted that there clearly was circulation if not, technically, a heartbeat yet, indicating to her that this pregnancy is already in better shape. I, on the other hand, still feel a bit numb. The doc & nurses were giddy with excitement, congratulating us and offering hugs and handshakes, which I received rather robotically. I can't quite accept that everything is ok, especially since the medical folks thought everything was great at last year's u/s and look where we ended up 7 weeks later. But we were able to be optimistic enough to finger baby bedding and discuss the merits of various baby and children's furniture when we were at Ikea this afternoon with my mom.

I'd love to get to a place where I don't have to question my every thought about the (potential) baby. See? I had to write "potential". And there's an army of voices in my head saying, "You're such a drama queen!" and "Well, duh! Anything could happen! She doesn't want to jinx it," and "Oh, for god's sake, quit whining!" Argh.

However, I will keep on looking at the lovely photo and trying to drown out those voices by talking to Harpo the Embryo.

P.S. Thanks for all of your excitement, reassurance, compassion, friendship, and just plain old comments. It's really comforting and all kind of warm'n'fuzzy knowing that so many friends-in-the-computer are there for us.


  • Wonderful news! Hope that you can begin to feel a bit less terrified about all the "maybes" and "what ifs" now.

    By Anonymous Tamsin from FF, at 1:02 PM  

  • you posted from your PHONE - lol! yay for good news... hope you keep on hearing increasingly positive news and you can begin to truly enjoy your pregnancy... and FINALLY parenthood too :-) thinking of you both!

    By Anonymous cathy, at 1:23 PM  

  • Wonderful news! I can only imagine how nervous-making and thrilling this must be ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

    By Blogger terri c, at 1:35 PM  

  • Oh, I am so happy to hear that!

    Didja cry? Didja? Cause I almost did!

    By Anonymous bri, at 1:51 PM  

  • OMG, I'm so happy for you both!!

    Am I missing something?

    By Anonymous Heatherg, at 1:52 PM  

  • Phew. Kept checking the blog to hear the good news & FINALLY it's come. Yay yay yay!! (bee from FF)

    By Blogger Brooke, at 2:36 PM  

  • Great great great news!

    By Blogger Kwynne, at 7:16 PM  

  • YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OMG I'm so glad to hear this!

    By Anonymous jenny, at 9:06 PM  

  • Well, that is just the cutest sac I have ever seen! Here's hoping they give you lots of ultrasounds so you can be constantly reassured. It sure helped us sleep better.

    By Blogger Trista, at 11:11 PM  

  • You're funny. Congrats on the sac. Can I link your blog to mine so we can take a step toward forming a mutual blog admiration society? Grazie.

    By Blogger Sacha, at 1:55 AM  

  • This is so great! I really hope that everything will go smoothly and that Harpo the embryo will become a strong and healthy newborn.

    By Blogger Bebu, at 10:19 AM  

  • I imagine the army of voices can get pretty loud and obnoxious. Judging from other bloggers who have reached similar places (like grrl at chez miscarriage, for example), I think the need to write things like "potential" and such are all really normal. I can't imagine how flipped out weird this must be but please know that you are allowed to worry and then you are allowed to put it aside for an hour or two and enjoy Ikea baby furniture and that the need to not let yourself get hurt is real and understandable and we are here to hear about it. But we are also all out here being pretty much purely excited for you and you will always have us to (attempt to) reassure you.

    By Anonymous bri, at 11:39 AM  

  • Congratulations. Things do look so incredibly positive. I am very happy that you have this chance and am sending all the positive thoughts I can for this to turn out well.


    By Anonymous MichelleL, at 1:01 PM  

  • Hi, I really like you blog and I'm going to bookmark your site!

    I have a site onentertainment products. It pretty much covers entertainment products related stuff and top sellers.

    Come and check it out if you get time :-)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:08 PM  

  • I am so happy for you both. What a beautiful sight that lovely sac is. CONGRATULATIONS.


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:15 PM  

  • Harpo is adorable! Feeling apprehensive is so normal, especially in your situation. I'm thinking very good thoughts for you both and your cute little bean.

    Maureen (FF)

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 2:36 PM  

  • Congratulations on the sac and potential circulation. That is good news. The heart is hard to see at this stage of life since it is barely formed and so tiny. Enjoy the good news and stay positive. I'm so happy for you guys! I check your blog everyday! Sending white light your way everyday.

    Allisson & Mindy

    By Blogger Lil Bouncer, at 6:41 PM  

  • SO happy for HArpo! And for you two dears, of course!


    By Blogger Shelli, at 11:20 PM  

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