Sac-ily We Roll Along - UPDATED, lengthily
Hello, Harpo, we love you already.
(more later, including young Harpo's first picture when we're not posting from my phone)
We were delighted with this morning's ultrasound, and yet, we're still emotionally really whacky. Cait cried (with joy and general emotional release) as soon as Dr. Reserved, Nurse Cheery, and Nurse LessCheery left the room, but I waited until we were in the car an hour later to have a general meltdown. Part of is it just how tense and stressed out we've been in anticipation of today's appointment, but I think we also don't know how to handle the hope and excitement while we still have some lingering apprehension.
Cait says that today's image seems more defined than the one 366 days ago (ain't that date coincidence weird, folks?), and that Nurse Cheery admitted that there clearly was circulation if not, technically, a heartbeat yet, indicating to her that this pregnancy is already in better shape. I, on the other hand, still feel a bit numb. The doc & nurses were giddy with excitement, congratulating us and offering hugs and handshakes, which I received rather robotically. I can't quite accept that everything is ok, especially since the medical folks thought everything was great at last year's u/s and look where we ended up 7 weeks later. But we were able to be optimistic enough to finger baby bedding and discuss the merits of various baby and children's furniture when we were at Ikea this afternoon with my mom.
I'd love to get to a place where I don't have to question my every thought about the (potential) baby. See? I had to write "potential". And there's an army of voices in my head saying, "You're such a drama queen!" and "Well, duh! Anything could happen! She doesn't want to jinx it," and "Oh, for god's sake, quit whining!" Argh.
However, I will keep on looking at the lovely photo and trying to drown out those voices by talking to Harpo the Embryo.
P.S. Thanks for all of your excitement, reassurance, compassion, friendship, and just plain old comments. It's really comforting and all kind of warm'n'fuzzy knowing that so many friends-in-the-computer are there for us.