Since You Asked...
We have paid for one month out of pocket, and are still waiting for word from our insurance about whether or not they will reimburse us. They were supposed to tell us by last week, but hey, who's counting? Unfortunately, the IV stuff didn't seem to be working this time around. I am on an oral antibiotic now, targeting a different tick-borne pathogen (Bartonella, for those of you keeping score at home), in the hope that its potential existence in my body is the reason I haven't been able to get better and stay better. Next week I go back to my doctor and we decide if I will continue on the oral stuff, switch back to the IV and see if it works better after the oral stuff, or...I don't know what else. This has the potential to be one of those "I don't know what else we can do for you" appointments. Which are always so pleasant after taking half a day off of work, driving for an hour or so, and paying a couple hundred bucks (because of course he's out of network).
So in the meantime, I'm tired, achy, grumpy, and about to remove my right arm because the tape on the picc line is making it ITCH LIKE MAD. I, um, accidentally bit Jen on the arm because it was itching so much. But I've already cried about that, so please don't make me feel like more of a horrible person. Really, I was just going for the shirt sleeve. Though the scar from the actual IV will be small, I fear the itchy welts from the tape will leave me looking rather reptilian for months after the thing is finally removed. And I can't even knit anymore because my hands hurt too much, so Harpo will only have a hat and one sleeve of a sweater. Grrr.
I feel horrible about being so whiny, but that's how I'm feeling right now. I'm so done with all of this. I want my body back. I want to be able to be helpful and supportive to Jen. I want to be a good mother to Harpo, should we be lucky enough to have him/her stick around. I just want to be done with drugs and doctors and STUPID ITCHY THINGS ON MY ARM. I'd almost rather be stuck with this for the rest of my life than keep trying thing after thing and having each one fail.
But enough of me. It's time for Harpo and mommies to go to bed. We now return you to your regular programming.