Failed cycles should always be followed by major appliance delivery. I'm still sad, I'm still worried about whether this is ever going to work, still searching for answers all over the internet. But I'm doing laundry, people. Laundry. In beautiful new machines that arrived just hours ago. Machines with, to quote Natalie, "lossa buttons." Machines whose drums light up when their doors are opened. I put diapers in, pushed a few buttons, and now I can ignore them until it's time to put them in the dryer. Two cycles worth of effort all rolled into one!
Now when I go up there, those diapers had better be stink-free, or I'm going right back to yesterday's pit.