TW3, AddProb Edition

As always, I have Very Good Intentions about posting more frequently, but somehow the posts just never get out of my head and onto the screen. By way of apology and attempting to have SOMETHING new for you to read, here are the post titles that never made it up this week.

• TTC: It's NOT Like Riding a Bike (or, I Thought We Knew How to Do This!)
• 17 Months is the New 2
• Mental Health Tip: Don't Taper Off Anti-Anxiety Meds while TTC
• DIY IUI: Now with Monitoring!
• Me, the Winos & the Frat Boys (Dry Ice on a Saturday Night)
  
• Sunday Errand List: Pick up bagels, sperm
• and the last one, which would have been a lousy title (and was a lousy incident): If You're Freaked Out About Plastic, Don't Let Your Toddler Carry the Lunch Bag with the Glass Container in It

We inseminate late tonight or tomorrow, and the tick, tick, ticking of the TWW countdown begins again.

Eet Ees FunnE!

Natalie has developed an odd vocal habit which just cracks us UP. She is making more and more words end with the diminutive "ee" sound. Where she picked it up, we don't know. It started with "hummy" (hummus) and got weirder from there. Now we have:

beanee (bean)
hammy (hammock)
na-nee (from na-na, her word for pacifier)
uh-oh-ee
me-mee (me)

All of these words are said frequently (in context) and with great glee. The only possible explanation that I can think of is that we thought "hummy" was absurdly cute and she overheard us telling one of our parents about it, so perhaps she is INTENTIONALLY doing it to please/impress/manipulate us. But that would be scary. Also, we don't react to the other "ee"s and she does not appear to be checking out our reaction or lack thereof. So I will banish the thought and revel in the cute absurdity instead.

A Sure Sign

You know fall is here when, slowly at first, then faster and faster they drift down to the ground, blanketing the floor with their bright sheen.

Paperclips. In front of the washing machine.

Yup, it's fall again. School is in session.

17 Month Tidbits

• Natalie now knows a handful of color words, understands that they are related to each other, and can say them with pretty good clarity. She has NO IDEA what color each word represents, but will cheerfully offer one up whenever asked to identify a hue.
• She has started walking on her toes from time to time. It's adorable.
• She's discovered the joy of dipping. She will eat unadorned carrots quite happily, and has no interest in french fries (is she really biologically related to me?), but if she spies a bottle of ranch dressing or ketchup, she is possessed by a frenzied desire to have some on her plate to dip things into. Often her fingers. Or her tongue. When she can be persuaded to use a vegetable or fry, she sees no need to eat the dip vehicle, either. She's a double dipper, all right.
• Whoever said that nonviolent resistance techniques were learned from toddlers was spot on. Natalie has a wide variety of resistance moves, and employs them very frequently these days. She's a skilled practitioner of going limp - she turns her entire body, even the bones, to jello instantaneously. At the other end of the spectrum, she's recently started experimenting with arching her back and forming a rigid arch. This is of course a favorite when we're trying to get her in the carseat. But my favorite response is wide-eyed innocence. When given a choice between two alternatives she does not want, Natalie usually looks back with big eyes and says "No" or names a third choice the moms are not offering. It's as if to say, Look at sweet li'l me. How could you persist in pushing those horrid options? It doesn't work, but it amuses the hell out of me.
  
• She continues to be absolutely in love with Banjo Man at the local Farmers Market. Each Sunday, one of us sits with her as she listens, dances, and draws with sidewalk chalk, while the other negotiates the crowds and picks out produce. Today, we sang for most of the walk from the Co-op to the market, and talked and talked about "Man-na" (her name for Banjo Man)*. As we approached his usual spot, we were horrified to see that he was.not.there. Natalie half-heartedly watched the juggler instead, but turned to me every now and then to ask, "Man-na?" Or she would scratch at the sidewalk and say "daw?" She managed to hold the outright hysteria back until we were close to leaving the market anyway. I sincerely hope he returns next weekend.
• When does walking really fast become running? I can't decide if what I've seen is real running or just really really fast walking.
• Her climbing skills are definitely growing. Last weekend at the playground, she went down a slide, turned around, and climbed back up it. This weekend she pretty fearlessly scampered about on equipment meant for 4 and ups. The thing is, we have to pry her out of the swings to get her to do this. Swinging is better than almost anything in the world.

*Not to be confused with "ma-nah, doo doo doo"

Warm Milk before Bedtime

I'm beginning to think there's something to this advanced maternal age designation, as I sit and nurse Natalie to sleep with a heating pad strategically placed on my back. Somehow it just seems wrong to be clutching my back and moaning as I chase my 17 month old hither and yon*. On the other hand, Natalie's grins, giggles, and full-body laughs will keep me young on the inside even if my body totally disintegrates.

*But then again, I must be old if I use expressions like "hither and yon".

Hormonal Havoc

Jen's first period post-partum has passed rather uneventfully. For her. I, on the other hand, have been spotting/bleeding since Saturday. For the record, I had my period two weeks ago. Apparently, my body is so excited she's cycling that it's having its own little private celebration. WTF? &*$#%@ hormones. If she continues to get her period, who knows what my body will do. Just another reason to hope for success this month.

However, so far this cycle we have remembered to temp exactly once, forgotten the first day of peeing on sticks for the fertility monitor, and refused to deal with the "how much sperm are we buying?" question. Oh, and completely failed in attempts to get in touch with the RE's office. Promising start, no?

Good News/Bad News

Good news: we can stop wasting money on pregnancy tests.
Bad news: we need to buy more tampons, OPKs and sperm.

Nothin' to see here, folks

It appears that our lesbian oops plan is a no go. All signs point to a period on the horizon.

In other news, we have two word sentences over here. Not surprisingly, they mostly start with "want." And the wants get stronger and more demanding as the nos pile up.

Kinda how we feel.

Why I Like My Job

One day last week as I did my library welcome and introduction spiel with a group of first graders, working to get them excited about reading, one child raised his hand and said in utter, unblinking earnestness, "But Ms. AddProb, according to my calculations I won't enjoy reading until I am FIFTEEN."

Random Parenting Notes

Sometimes raising a child is a neverending sequence of "I never thought I would do that" moments. Cases in point:

1. "Lima beans go in your mouth, not in the potty. And not on your vu!va either."
2. A friend passed on an exceedingly annoying greeting card, because she thought Natalie would enjoy it. She does. So much so that Cait just spent 5 minutes performing delicate surgery on it to replace the battery so that we can continue dancing like fools and losing our minds to the groovin' sounds of the hideously misspelled Hampster Dance.
3. Mooing whenever we turn off the playroom lights. A neighbor passed on a farm animal puzzle--the kind that makes animal noises when you put the piece in. The cow is missing, and the noises are triggered by changes in light levels, so it moos when we turn off the lights. We moo back.
4. Listening to the same CD *every* time we get in the car, and having arguments over listening to the same TRACK ad infinitum. And losing.
   

How about you? Got any stories from your kids / friends' kids / nieces / nephews / pets / hampsters?

It's Not Just Us

Natalie is quite interested in a sibling, too. The Force is strong in my family -- the baby-crazed force, that is -- and Natalie is no exception. She has seven or eight baby dolls (thanks grandmas!) by now, and is adorably tender when carrying, cuddling, and even nursing them, although it's entertaining to watch her hurl them into the toy stroller. She's also quite obsessed with real babies, too, and spent the last twenty minutes of Cait's school picnic tonight stalking a newborn. "Baby! Baby! Baby!" she said ad infinitum, dragging us around in search of the tiny one. We finally found a slightly larger baby and she stared adoringly for a few minutes, and then we departed. She continued to talk to us about the wonder of babies for the whole ride home "Baby! Baby! Baby!"

We're right there with you, sweetie.

Random Updates

I returned the pants. They were just WRONG. But now I know a lot more about pants than I ever did before.

Thanks for all of your suggestions and advice. Unfortunately, in the end my dad & his wife bought the Cosco AlphaOmega. Not what I would have chosen, but I spent a lot of time consulting with Estelle and know what to watch out for with the seat so it will be ok. And I've asked my folks to check that it wasn't part of the most recent recall (but since it's regarding 2005 manufacture dates, I hope to hell the brand new seat they bought isn't part of the recall!).

And I may have lost all of my pee-on-a-stick skillz (I used to be able to POAS/PIAC in the dark with my eyes closed without any mess... let's just say that's no longer the case and leave it at that!), but the intervening years have done NOTHING to diminish my ability to generate phantom/psychosomatic pregnancy symptoms. Although, should the gods favor us such that this cycle works, I want it on public record that I had symptoms as early as 1 DPO! ;) Anyway, I've had hypersensitive smell incidents, sore nipples, tiredness, and frequent need to pee in the past two days, most of which can be explained by life factors like oh, a nursing/teething toddler, a teaching career (limited bathroom access!), and vague attempts to be more healthy (drinking more water). But it's fun to dream - oh, that reminds me - I think I was pregnant in ALL of my dreams last night.

Only about a week until the mad testing frenzy begins...

The "Splinter" Has Been Removed

The deed is done, though our friend/midwife explained her oddly-timed absence to her kids by telling them she was coming to help me with a splinter!

So here I lie, letting the sperm do their swimming thing. JT, I do plan to work on seating charts while I am propped up on the pillows, but my lesson plans are done for the week. That's the beauty of teaching all the grades and seeing one class from each grade each day - once I do them for Monday (or in this case, Tuesday) I just repeat and refine for the rest of the week. But I digress.

It *is* different to try for #2. Obviously our logistical issues were made more challenging by having to work around Natalie's needs. But it's different psychologically, too. I swear to you, I NEVER ONCE thought to myself during our TTC and pregnancy with Natalie, "Ohmigod, what are we doing?" I knew what I wanted and was just waiting, waiting, waiting. This time, though, not more than 4 minutes after sperm entered my body, the unbidden thought came flitting through my mind. It was brief, and it was mostly about our small house and modest income, but it was a thought I hadn't experienced before.

I hope that the TWW will be made easier by the distractions, both positive and those of the irritating logistical type, of having a toddler. Based on our experience since the spotting on Saturday, I fear it won't be.

Cait is entertaining and diverting herself by playing with tickers. I'll leave you with our favorite so far:

Guess what we're doing tonight?

I'll give you a hint...it's not a picnic.

Turns out the period was actually mid-cycle spotting. If one can call wherever we are "mid-cycle." Positive OPK this morning. Other fertility signs looking good. Including that one where it's the craziest possible time to do this. Teachers, can you think of a nuttier day than the first day of school (for both of us) to try to pick up spermcicles and schedule IUIs? But we're doing it, and are excited (though horribly out of practice) to be back in the game.

...Or Not

False alarm, it seems. We are monitoring the situation and will update as necessary.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

We Interrupt this Scintillating Discussion...

WE'VE GOT BLOOD, PEOPLE, WE'VE GOT BLOOD!

Three days short of 26 months without a period has come to an end. Hallelujah! TTC here we come!!!

Floodwatch?

Ok, I really need some help here. One of the multiple intelligences in which I definitely fall into the special needs category is fashion. I don't get it (as many of you who know me in person probably realize). My coping strategies include 1) not caring and 2) buying clothes as infrequently as possible. But even I am getting sick of my limited wardrobe these days, and therefore tried to buy some clothes today. However, shopping with a feisty 16 month old does not lend itself to sucks, even when you have twice as many adults as toddler(s), so I just hurled clothes into the cart at 60 MPH and tried them on when I got home.

I purchased three different pairs of pants, one of which was marked cropped. I hate cropped pants and sleeves, but I thought I would give that one pair a try because it might be dressier than shorts for those occasions where it's too hot to wear pants. However, all of them end somewhere rather south of my knee but also north of my ankle. And yet, none of them are what I envisioned as cropped. In fourth grade, these high-waters would have gotten me teased mercilessly.

So, my questions for you:
Are pants like these in now?
Will they be out next week making me look like the fashion-impaired dork I am?
Is there some rule about seasons for cropped pants? Will the fashion police arrest me if I wear them in September? How about December, what with global warming and all?
What the hell kind of shoes do I wear with them? Do I wear socks?
Should I just chuck it all and return the lot?

My inner fourth grader, who was teased all year about various clothing choices, thanks you very much in advance for any help you can provide.